I know, I know…
Who in their right mind finds any humour in spam?
Apparently I do.
Well, in all fairness I don’t actually find much humour in turning up to work on a Monday morning and finding 200+ junk emails in my junk email folder. But, at least the worst of it is automatically deleted and the rest is shoved into the junk box so if I choose not to rummage through that folder I can happily ignore it all.
So, what do I find humerous?
No, not the umpteenth million attempt to sort out my sex life with the aid of small blue pills (some of them actually have photos – did you notice?), nor the consumerism-gone-mad attempt to sell me software that I already own, or even those lovely Nigerians who are trying to sell their own grandmothers (or rather the oil fortunes of their country – almost the same thing). Although it really would be nice to have actually won the lottery – just the once !
Clearly it’s not the content or haphazard but eager marketing skills that I find funny. No, it is something that I can enjoy at a glance, without even opening the e-mails. It’s the display names.
No, I’m not talking about dear Mrs Maryam Abacha (and all her spelling variants). I am talking about names that appear to be ingeniously, almost semi-intelligently chosen by a computer (or maybe someone with a minor grasp of English).
Don’t know what I’m talking about because you (or your IT guru) have got your system locked down so tight that you can see the computer’s VPL? (trans: Visible Panty Line)
Here are a small selection of some of the gems that made it through to me:
- Additive R. Amorous (yes, it was for pharmaceuticals)
- Tariff G. Overweight (that must be my hand luggage!)
- Coverall E. Jumper
- Spectators B. Rent
- Begrudge G. Selectivity
- Exposure J. Overdue (hey – just because I have Celtic colouring, no need to insult!)
- Compartmentalizing T. Ephesus (this one is for the historians, I can tell)
- Unemployment P. Manpower
And, while not strictly of the same genre these lovely ones came through last week:
- Adolph Leming (if only he had been one!)
- Coy Hand (yes, yet more pharmaceuticals)
So, while other choose to grind their teeth, wear out the delete key and even spend thousands of dollars availing themselves of the latest and greatest anti-spam software, you can think of me scrolling briefly through my Junk mail on Monday mornings; laughing at the spam.
I can provide the evidence that these really and truly made it to my Junk box.
But I doubt you need any of my spam as you probably get more than enough of you own.
Feel free to add any others that you have had a good chuckle about.
I’m always happy to laugh at spam !