Mothers Day has long been and gone in this part of the world, (May 13th for those who need to know), and I am so far behind in my blogging that this post seems a little out of place.
But please bear with me as I do some overdue catching up with my commentary. This is just a little observation that I would like to share with you all.
Being an expectant person with only 8 weeks or so to go now I thought that perhaps I could share an idea with you all. Back in May, on Mother’s Day, I was just coming up on 6 months pregnant. And yet, it would seem, I didn’t qualify for the title “Mother”.
Now, let me clarify a few things before I go on. The other half of the OhWailyWaily couple has been nothing less than superb, wonderful and amazing for the entire being pregnant time. Our families are wonderful, loving and caring people who would do anything for us and the about to arrive addition.
But they all shared one trait on this past Mother’s Day – not one person recognized that being pregnant meant that I already considered myself to be a Mother. In fact a couple of small comments explicitly indicated at least one person clearly thought that until Miss OhWailyWaily is actually out on her own that I didn’t qualify for the title!
Please remember, these are genuinely nice and caring people. Not one of them could be considered for the part of nasty in-law, nor annoying family member.
My personal view is that “you are pregnant, you are a mother”. This may not be everyone’s viewpoint, of course, but if you have a partner, wife, family member or friend who is at the beginning of motherhood (pregnant) when Mother’s Day rolls around please take a little bit of time to acknowledge her.
If in doubt, I would say err on the side of celebrating her mothering achievements to date – surviving morning sickness, putting up with huge hormonal rushes that steal parts of the adult human brain, and generally putting a heck of a lot of effort into creating yet another little human life.
If you think there might be a little bit of sensitivity (and/or superstition) regarding celebrating her motherhood prior to the physical arrival of her child, then by all means go gently about having a conversation with her and what she would or wouldn’t like you to do for Mother’s Day. If she’s not comfortable and doesn’t share my opinion about being a mother, then go with that.
But for goodness sakes, don’t presume and don’t ignore it !
Personally I have had what I consider a very lucky experience to date, with only a bit of insomnia and acid reflux to make any real noise about. Many other mums-to-be may not have had it so good and a bit of cheer leading on Mother’s Day may go a long way to help her keep feeling positive. For the rest of us lucky souls, it just feels like a validation of the work done to date and that we aren’t actually a non-entity stuck somewhere between single-person-dom and motherhood.
Just something for you all to think about.