Normally I like to keep my political opinions to myself. Or at least only express them to family and close friends. But when this little gem crossed my email, I just had to share.
For those non-NZers, feel free to replace Winston Peter’s name with a similarly suitable politician from your own parliament.
A man died and went to Heaven.
As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
“What are all those clocks?” he asked
“Those are Lie-Clocks,” St. Peter answered.
“Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.”
“Oh”, said the man. ‘Whose clock is that at 12.00?’
“That’s Mother Teresa’s”, replied St. Peter. “The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible”, said the man. “And whose clock is that one at 12.02?”
“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock,” St. Peter responded. “The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where’s Winston Peters’ clock?” asked the man.
“Winston Peters’ clock is in Jesus’ office”, smiled St Peter. “He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”
If you are wondering about who Winston Peters is and why this little joke is doing the rounds, scroll down the Wikipedia entry to the section on funding controversies – or alternatively take a look through any online NZ newspaper or other media website. He is something of a teflon-like character who is economical with the facts (omissions are not lies, after all) and quick to jump on popular bandwagons (immigration and immigrants, for instance – imagine an apparent xenophobe as your Foreign Minister !?!?).
He would also win any “Survivor” special dealing specifically with politics and politicians, hands down.