There are very few verbal tics that annoy me. Usually.
But recently in the Oh Waily household there has been an exponential increase in the use of one particular four letter word, and I am not impressed.
Somehow this interloper has managed to sneak in and infiltrate everyday conversation. It appears with monotonous regularity, most shockingly, in Miss Oh Waily’s conversational repertoire.
And like all self-respecting four letter words, it does not come alone. It brings friends. The sort of friends that you want to politely shut the door on. It turns out that like the unwanted, influential ratbags friends your teenage children bring home to play with, you have no real control over these verbal equivalents either.
I am coming to my wits end. How do you rid your home of unwanted words? Especially those nasty little four letter ones that seem to mock your every effort to expunge them. What will it take to have a reasonable, responsible and respectful conversation around this house?
Censorship is required to protect my sanity. I can’t stand to hear that word, and its cohorts any more. Should I use duct tape? No, that would involve the authorities and lengthy explanations to the social workers. Should I make a loud bleeping noise whenever the offending word is uttered? No, that would involve the authorities and a white huggy jacket for me.
Oh, help me please…
What am I to do in response to this onslaught of such language?
Me: Can you please put your shoes away?
Miss OWW: I’m just… [insert excuse reason]
Me: That’s fine, but you still need to put your shoes away first.
Miss OWW: But, I’ll just finish… [insert excuse reason]
Me: I understand that you want to [insert excuse reason], but you need to do this before you start something new.
Miss OWW: Yes, I know that. But I’m only just doing…
I hate it, that horrible four letter word: just, just, just, just, just
and it’s tag-along mates: but, but, but, but, but and only, only, only.
And the little throw-away phrase said with such condescension that you just want to slap the words right out of the dictionary along with the inflection, intonation and all other -ations relating to it’s use: Yes, I know.
What is considerably worse, and oh so horrific, is that no less than five sneaky, hidden “justs” had to be edited out of the draft version of this post.
I am the perpetrator who let this word into our midst. I am the bad influence.
I have been hoist with my own petard. Oh waily, waily…